Tuesday, September 18, 2012

trees that shed their bark instead of their leaves...



well, i think i’m finally ready to talk about canberra. does that sound dramatic? it does, doesn't it? i don't care - it has been an INTENSE couple of months.


first, let me preface this by acknowledging that i don't adjust well. don't do change. never have. funny coming from someone who hasn't been able to sit still for longer than two years since she graduated college, i know, but it is what it is. and my adapting to life in canberra and at the university has been one long, painful lesson in accepting change. accepting that e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. is different. accepting that it's going to take me twice as long (at least) to do anything. i thought learning to drive was going to be the kicker. oh, jees, to be back at that stage...

the difference between adjusting to a place like vietnam, or even france, and adjusting to australia can be summed up in what kp calls "the uncanny valley." i don't have the time or the energy to try and explain it with any eloquence, so let's just say it describes the experience of *thinking* a place is familiar - and on the surface it actually being very familiar - but slowly realizing how foreign it is. and basically being totally weirded out by that realization. this experience is much more pronounced in western anglophone countries, which share lots of cultural values and practices, than it is in non-anglophone countries. which is perhaps why, despite some undeniably awesome moments of culture shock in nam, it wasn't so hard to adjust. i knew it would be different, and it was. end of story.

but here, and especially in the professional context of my new university gig... things that i never even considered could be different are different. you name it. the smallest details. and it's just been doing my head in. most of what i've been processing is silly academic-related stuff (eg, departmental culture, student behavior, university admin - the bureaucracy of taking leave, for example, which is a given perk of academic life back home), but there have also been some lifestyle bumps: we have to go to the gas station to buy big cans of gas for our stove at home (and we are LUCKY to even have a gas stove!!); the gas stations, speaking of, don't do pay-at-the-pump; and while we're on the subject of gas, it costs $75 to fill up our mazda 3!; there's no equivalent to trader joe's or whole foods; all this brown bush starts to get to you, rent is hiiiiigh and the accommodations are grim (except for our place, which is pretty sweet... so sweet that i had to take in a roommate to afford it while kp is in brisbane); canberra is not a happening town; the scarcity of black beans and the return to old el paso brand tortillas (sigh)...

add to this the pressures of the new job, which i will spare you, and the sudden feeling that we are so very far away, and well, let's just say i've been a bit fragile of late. but i think that just being able to say that here means i've turned a corner of sorts, which is a good thing.


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