C is for chat

un chat :: a cat

Let me first say for the record that convincing Leslie to let me into to the FRAVINAbécédaire was no small feat. Both Thomas Friedman and Nicholas Kristof applied for a letter and Ms. Barnes put the kabash on it. But, how could she even begin to think that the letter C could be reserved for anything or anyone other than le chat. Now while I’ve thought long and hard about impressing you with my knowledge of the history of my species or perhaps even waxing poetic about the famous Chat Noir in France, I thought, is this what the people want to hear from le chat, is this what the people demand from le chat, aw Hell No! What the people want to know is what le Bob has been up to. So, I will respond to my sea of adoring fans and give you some musings as of late.

Since it has been about six months since my owners departed for Paris, I thought I’d give them some updates on the life and times of Bob. Not very original but I’m going to steal Letterman’s song and dance and fill you in.

Top Ten Reasons Bob Has Been Too Busy to Post for Several Months

10. It’s ski season—le chat got a Colorado Pass and can be found ripping down the mountains on the weekend. Bob loves some fresh powder.

9. Between the cat-napping, eating, purring, cat-napping, and general yowling, I just haven’t had time.

8. As a part of Obama’s transition team, I can’t seem to get any free time from putting out fires in the President’s Cabinet. Not even through the entire vetting process yet (damn you Daschle), and the work has just begun.

7. For months I’ve been looking for Knox’ phone that plays “Twinkle Twinkle,” it’s my favorite and I can’t figure out where he hid it.

6. Few know this, but Leslie and Knox aren’t the only two working on dissertations - le chat is finishing up the theoretical framework chapter of a mixed-methods, critical race study on the socio-political history of Pierre Bourdieu’s house pets. It’s some heavy shit.

5. I’m actually the creator of the “Snuggie,” and we’ve been doing great business. I’m currently perfecting a cat-snuggie for keeping all four paws warm when reading at night (friends stateside will have to fill Leslie and Knox in on the hype).

4. Spending three-quarters of your day salivating over the squirrels who race around the backyard makes le chat sleepy.

3. The tight economy has forced Janet to start collecting rent. In exchange for my space on her bed and in the windowsill during the day time, the expectations include laundry, cooking three meals per week and scrubbing the bathtub. Those tasks aren’t easy for a 4 pound feline, but le chat’s got to do what le chat’s got to do.

2. Ok, I broke down and got a Face Book Profile. Between updating my status, poking people, tagging folks in photos, stalking my high school classmates, listing 25 things you didn’t know about me and playing 80’s movie trivia, I just don’t have time to blog.

1. And the #1 Reason I haven’t had time to post: I found the box in the basement with the bag of catnip. Can we just say, Bob just loves to get wasted!


Signing off from Kittylandia. Much love to all.

Le Bobbers (and ghost writer, Janet Lopez)